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We
all know the general rules of the gym: don't drop
the weights, wipe your sweat off the machines
when you're done, etc. But do you know all about
the more "colorful", lesser known rules
of the gym?
NOTE:
These rules are JOKES! If you ever see any
of these rules posted at any gym you ever go to,
please take a picture for me!
1. Don't blow your nose in the
water fountain.
This
is a crude habit and can contribute to the spread
of colds and viruses. Besides, that's what the
gym towels are for...
2. No smoking on the cardio machines.
Those
little circular thingies are water-bottle holders,
not ashtrays. If you need a cigarette that badly
when you're working out, tape one to the pulldown
bar and take a drag on it as a reward for each
rep you do.
3. When spotting someone on bench
press, be sure to wipe your face first.
You
are not a stalactite, and dripping sweat into
someone's eye is not a good way to make friends.
4. If you choose to wear cologne
or perfume to the gym, please don't marinate in
it.
If
the person on the stair machine next to you lights
up a cigarette, you could both be seriously injured.
5. Those stands that have all the
weight plates on them should not be used for holding
your donuts.
Your
donuts will end up with a terrible metallic taste
that even the coffee in your water bottle won't
be able to get out of your mouth.
6. The Crunch Machine is not a
vending machine for candy bars.
Please
don't try to put money into this machine. It's
for working your abdominals. You will never, EVER
get a Nestle's Crunch bar out of it.
7. Even though the gym has stair
machines, it is not required by law to have elevator
machines.
Please
stop asking about this at the reception desk.
8. Pick up after your dog when
you walk him on the treadmill.
No
explanation necessary.
9. If you have a habit of spraying
spit when you lift, ensure there is no one in
your target area.
It's
bad enough that the mirrors by the squat rack
look like a St. Bernard shook himself in front
of them.
10. Do not give yourself C.P.R.
when doing bench presses.
Bouncing
the bar heavily off your ribcage instead of pressing
it properly may cause damage to the bar and voids
the warranty on the bench. Besides that, you don't
want your spotter feeling as though he's dribbling
a barbell down the court do you?
11. Beer and/or liquor in your
water bottle are prohibited.
Unless,
of course, you bring enough for everybody. This
also goes for mochaccinos, frappaccinos, and anything
with an umbrella in it.
12. Use the rowing machine
at your own risk.
If
it sinks, there are no lifeguards on duty.
Following these rules to the best of your ability
will ensure a pleasant exercise experience for
everyone.
Thank
you
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