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In
the course of my experience working and training
in gyms, I've seen people doing some incredibly
"interesting" exercises. Unfortunately,
it's usually because these people have not been
properly instructed in exercise technique.
Here
are some of the top winners. Remember, these are
actual exercises that I've seen people do. I made
the names of the exercises up to match the lunacy
of how they look.
DO
NOT TRY THESE AT HOME! OR AT THE GYM! OR ANYWHERE!!!
1. Dumbell Hair Combs
Start
by holding a dumbell in front of you. Do a front
raise with it then whip the dumbell back and over
the top of your head like you're combing your
hair with it. Make sure to just miss your skull.
2. Hog-tied Face-Rubs
Lie
on your stomach on the floor. Grasp your ankles
behind your back and rub your face back and forth
on the ground repeatedly. Continue until you've
had enough.
3. Abdominal Earthquakes
Lie
on the floor on your back in the classic start
position of a crunch. Now yank as hard as you
can on the back of your head up and down and thrash
your legs around in the air like you're fending
off starving dogs. This evidently works your abs.
You will resemble Jello that has just been dropped
on the floor. Your face should be as red as a
tomato by the time you're done.
4. The Arm Wrecker
Do
one cheating, momentum-filled rep of an arm exercise
with ridiculously heavy weight then swing your
arms around as fast as you can in a circle to
get blood to the muscle. This technique will either
help your arm grow or will smack the person waiting
to use the machine/weights next.
5. Pelvic Demolisher
Stand
with your fingers interlocked behind your head.
Do a pelvic thrust forward and drop your spinal
column down and backwards about 6 inches. This
exercise is best done in front of a large group
of people.
6. Dumbell Doggy Digs
Bend
over at the waist so that your back is rounded
completely over like an arch. Your legs should
be completely straight and locked out. You should
look like you are trying hard to touch your toes
but not really succeeding. Hold two dumbells down
at arms-length. Now spin them round and round
repeatedly just off the floor so that you resemble
a dog digging a hole.
7. Pec Rockets
Set
the pec deck machine with far too much weight
for you to handle safely. Make sure you are very
sweaty and slippery before attempting this one.
First, use your entire bodyweight to get one arm
pad up to the front. Then, throw yourself at the
other one to get it to the front. Hold them there
for a half-second then get shot four feet out
across the floor as you squirt from the machine
like a greased banana.
8. Rush-Hour Bench Press
This
exercise is done on the vertical seated chest
press machine that has a foot pedal to help raise
the weight to the starting position. Use this
pedal at the bottom of every single rep to bounce
the weight back up. Your footwork will resemble
that of someone in rush-hour traffic going from
0 to 60 to 0 every 3 seconds.
9. Close-Grip, Behind-The-Neck Shoulder Press
Sit
in a shoulder press station, gripping the bar
overhead with about 6 inches between your hands.
Bring the bar down directly behind your head.
Be sure to lean forward 45 degrees and round your
back over so that your shoulder joints and lower
back each get their fair share of trauma.
10. C.P.R. Bench Press
Start
by loading your safe maximum bench press weight
onto the bar. Now add 20 more pounds just to be
safer. Have your spotter lift the bar off the
rack for you. Lower it 2 inches on your own power
then allow it to drop and cave in your rib cage.
Be sure your spotter is a strong deadlifter before
attempting this exercise as you will need them
to pull the bar off you at the bottom of every
rep. When your spotter has pulled the bar off
you after the first rep and is trying to put it
back on the racks, yell out "I've got six
more reps!"
Remember that this is just a small sample of things
I have actually seen people doing. Please be sure
when you do your exercises that you take the time
to learn proper form and, if you do see someone
performing an exercise that is potentially harmful,
tactfully assist them.
Click
here for more information about exercise technique
and errors
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