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As
a long-time trainer, I've tried a lot of bodybuilding
supplements and I've seen a lot of supplements
come and go. Some have been good; some have been
garbage. Here's a few that never even came close...
1. The Protein Powder Keg - a 100 pound barrel
of explosive protein (don't light a match after
ingesting). Contains over 100 megatons of power
per keg.
2.
Cheese Whiz Creatine - if creatine is unstable
in a liquid, surely it must be stable in a thick,
cheesy goo.
3.
Saw Clamato - a Saw Palmetto and Clamato juice
knock-off. It doesn't do anything for your prostate
but it tastes really good when mixed with other
supplements.
4.
Sucker 2, The World's Strongest Fat Burglar
- burns the fat off your body while you sleep!
Unfortunately, you will never sleep again if you
take it regularly.
5.
DHEAHMBCLANO2WWECNN - the latest innovation
in shotgun supplementation. Fire it all in - something's
gotta work!
6.
Ephedra-Free Ma Huang - works best in combination
with caffeine-free guarana and aspirin-free white
willow bark.
7.
The Super-Complete Trainers Multi-Vitamin
- contains every single nutrient in optimal quantities
for hard-training athletes. Each pill weighs six
pounds and must be held under the tongue for 3
hours. Also available in a gel-cap the size of
your head.
8.
High-Protein Kibbles & Creatine Bits -
Purina's first (and last) foray into the supplement
industry.
9.
Meal Replacement Bar - instead of eating,
you go to a tavern and get loaded.
10.
Krazy-Glue-Cosamine - seal up joint injuries
permanently.
11.
Vitamin C Biscuits - a shameless marketing
ploy by Hollywood to promote a film. Nothing but
orange-flavored horse manure.
12.
CLBA - Conjugated Linoleic Battery Acid -
for use whenever you need a jump-start in your
training.
13.
Hydrogen Dioxide - this chemical is currently
under investigation by the International Olympic
Committee for its powerful performance-enhancing
effects in the human body. Although it is available
in many fruity flavors, the generic version of
H2O is by far the most popular among athletes.
As you can see, supplementation can be confusing,
but, if you're looking for that extra boost in
your training, stick with proven supplements such
as protein, creatine, glutamine and multi-vitamins
(and plenty of hydrogen dioxide!) and you can't
go wrong.
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